There were many topics discussed in chapter 4 that I found interesting to read about. I was unfamiliar with the concept of self-disclosure before I began reading the text. I learned that self-disclosure is a method of creating intimacy with another person and it can be an effective method. In today’s society, with the access to social media, it can remind individuals that we can no longer expect privacy. Reading this chapter, I realized that some may find it so easy to put their whole life on social media, rather, what they want others to perceive them as. Whether that be a social butterfly, going out to parties, or experiencing new foods, going on new adventures, but it’s often not the reality. The reality is that people share what they want others to think of them, however, when a person wants to get to know someone on a personal level, people find it difficult to “open up”. I catch myself doing this sometimes, such as posting where I went or who I saw, with a caption “ Had a great time”, but moments before, I probably didn’t want to go out to breakfast, rather just stay in bed and sleep in. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my friends and family, but sometimes I do something that will make the other person happy, I sometimes want to show people that I am having a good time, when maybe that day, I just wasn’t up for it. As a mini goal, I want to focus on myself, live more in the present, instead of feeling like I have to post to show others that I am having a good time.
(Donatelle, 2019, p. 84)
An important topic from the chapter that I wanted to discuss was recognizing an abuser. It’s important to recognize any red flags that your partner demonstrates in order to avoid getting into a relationship with an abuser. The red flags that stuck out to me was one person taking too much control and displaying excessive jealousy. These two are related to one another because copious amounts of jealousy shown can lead to taking too much control. With any relationship, there needs to be an equal balance of communication, trust, and honesty. Growing up, I have always been on the cautious side when it came to meeting new people. That continued on when I moved to college my freshman year. Although entering a relationship in college isn’t the top priority, it’s common to start a relationship. For freshman, I think it’s especially important to be aware of the warning signs of an abuser. For many students, it’s their first time moving away from home, college is a whole new lifestyle that takes time to adjust too, and some young adults may not be aware of the hidden red flags that may be reflected off their relationship. In order to have a loving and safe relationship, both parties should be educated on the potential actions an abuser may exhibit.
(Donatelle, 2019, p. 89)
The last topic that I want to talk about is effectively using communication to manage conflicts. When someone’s behaviors interfere with that of another, it’s an emotional state referred to as conflict. When conflict arises, it’s important for both parties to collectively work together to resolve the conflict at hand. Towards the end of last semester, I began a relationship that I couldn’t be more happy in. We both knew going into the relationship that it would be difficult because he’s from New York, while I’m only forty minutes away from school. This past summer was the hardest time for the both of us because we had to adjust to living apart and going back to the lives we lived when we were at home. He worked long hours in the day at his part time job, while I was working at the campus center here at Bridgewater State. It was probably the hardest for me because I was sitting at a desk for ten hours a day, and I was alone for most it, if not all of the shift. Being in a long distance relationship, communication is the most important part. We would text throughout the day, call at night, and made plans to see each other over the summer. There were times of miscommunication that would lead to conflict, but in order for us to work it out, we always talked through the issue to resolve the conflict. In an LDR, it’s not as easy as driving over to the other person’s house in a few minutes, we had to figure out how to resolve an argument over FaceTime. It would be easy to ignore calls, texts or to turn our phones off, but we had to be patient, to be open with our communication, and we learned that in order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, we had to learn to always communicate how we felt. Our relationship has grown stronger because of the distance, we understand each other on a deeper level, and we are always there to support each other everyday.
(Donatelle, 2019, p. 87)
Health Aspect
Setting aside running for this week, I was really stressed in the beginning of last week. I had my first anatomy exam and my stress levels were very high. I realized how important it was to talk to my family and friends because they are always there to support me. I called my mom and she told me to always do the best that I can. When I was very overwhelmed on Wednesday night, she reminded me that no course in college should affect my mental health. As I was on the phone with her, she told me to take a mini break from studying and reach out to my friends to talk to as well. I went to the study and met with my friend and she told me about how her day was going. Putting aside my stress and listening to helped me de-stress and I was able to pick up where I left off. The next day, I took my exam and walked out knowing that I put my hardest effort into studying and that I was proud of myself for it. Yesterday, I went to the gym only for a brief amount of time because I was unaware that the gym closed at 6:30pm, so I was only able to get two sets of squats done and ten minutes on the elliptical, but even a short amount of time at the gym lifted my spirits and put me in a better mood.
References:
Donatelle, R.J (2019). Mastering Health: My Health (3rd Edition) Pearson Education
Health Aspect 